Suzy Homemaker I'm Not...

Playing Suzy Homemaker is getting me down. I had always thought that having the white picket fence and whole family thing is what I wanted. Well, I’ve got it and it just isn’t as filling as I would have thought it would have been.

     I’m a stay at home mom with one child. We live in a nice neighborhood and have the funds to do a few special things every now and then. Of course, not enough funds for me to be a shopoholic.
     My mate is a wonderful man in most ways. He is honest, trust worthy, and dependable. He knows me well and can usually read my mind. He’s affectionate. He’s thoughtful most of the time.
     I love my child. He is smart, loving, and quick witted. However, being a mom isn’t as fulfilling as I thought it would have been. Some days I just wish I didn’t have so much responsibility. Having a kid who has above average IQ, ADHD, oppositional defiance disorder, and poor social skills is a challenge. Do I wish I didn’t have him, no way! For all the trouble he is I love him more than anything in this world. I do wish I could send him away for a few days every now and then.
     My child and husband are both slobs. My husband more so than my son. I’ve been trying to train my husband for ten years. It hasn’t worked yet so I guess it’s time to give up. I refuse to work myself to death to keep things tidy when a 45 year old is one of the biggest mess makers. I just don’t enjoy cleaning that much. I keep the kitchen and my bathroom spotless, as well as the laundry caught up. If the boys want to trash their bathroom then so be it. I’ll break down and clean it when it starts to smell. I can only tell them that I don’t want the little boy or the big boy toys in the living room so many times. Basically, the house stays in a clean clutter.
     I could deal with all of it better if I was just getting sex as often as I want and as well as I want it. I know I have an above average sex drive. I’d be happy with everyday if possible. I know I am a bit kinky. But, currently we only have sex about once a week and some times even less than that.
     I have tried to be less aggressive and more appealing toward him. Meaning I have been softly suggesting we take showers and offering more blow jobs. I’ve tried to be more honest about what I’d like done to me while we are doing it. I’ve offered up suggestions as to what we could do the next time that might be fun. I’ve let him know that I’m even willing for before the sunrise morning sex. Still…I’m sexless most of the time.
     If I get out one of my toys and masturbate then I usually get rewarded with him joining in. However, I’d love to have him be the aggressor every now and then. I want him to put my pleasure first. Hey, I’m female, I can have release after release he only gets one shot.
     Is it normal for a 45 year old male to have such a low sex drive? Is it normal for them to only be able to do it once? This isn’t anything new. It’s been like this for about seven years.
     I’m just not sure how much longer I can put off my own desires. I have no intentions of leaving my husband. Which would only leave one option…an affair. I don’t say this lightly. Yes, I have talked to him about my feelings. Many times I’ve talked about them. In fact, whenever we first started dating I told him that if I wasn’t taken care of sexually I would find someone who could. Of course, when you first start dating someone you are fucking like bunnies day and night.
     Sex can be great with him when he takes the time to have some foreplay. Unfortunately, most of the time he wants to be lazy about it. Underwear off without any kissing or petting. I might get a kiss or two and a nipple sucked while he is trying to penetrate. Once in he will do a little dirty talking and pound me hard a bit. However, it is usually over and done with in about 10 minutes and me not having gotten off at all. Can you say “frustrated”!
     I have caught myself looking at more and more men when out in public and thinking what they might be like in bed. I haven’t over stepped in anyway yet and I’d like to keep it that way. So, what do I do to make a change?
     I’ve been thinking about joining some groups now that we are in a city big enough to have lots of activities. Most of the local ones are mom groups. I just don’t see myself fitting into those. I’m just not that into being a stay at home mom. I wish I could go back to work even if it wasn’t teaching again. However, my health won’t allow that.
     I don’t know, I guess I’m just having one of those days. Maybe I should invest in a new sex toy.